Keeping the marriage 'alive'

had a conversation with a friend who thinks that her marriage is on the rocks... as things just don't seem to be the same anymore.

i've been thinking...how so often do we get so caught up in our 'rush-ian' schedule (everything rush rush...) that we very easily and often (may i add) neglect our spouse...?

do you still make an effort to cheer each other up? or remind each other to take things easy...? or even to ask how each other's day had been..? we ALL need the TLC. Tender Loving Care, that is. We strive to be good parents, fulfilling our multiple roles at work and at home, and it's just so easily that we take our marriage for granted! We always think that our spouse will be there, sleeping next to you, coming home right after work, to change the light bulb, fix the tap etc etc etc...

but, do we ask the question: are we also being a nice spouse? have we said 'I love you' today? did we even touch today? everyday passes so quickly, we forget the anniversaries, birthdays, special occassions.

do we also realise that the people our spouse sees more often everyday, is their colleagues and co-workers, or even their clients?

is it of any surprise that in this group of people that our spouse sees more often than he/she sees us, that there's someone that he/she feels closer to...

however, friends being friends. a married person does have the responsibility and commitment in a marriage to remain faithful and honour the spouse, no matter what.

therefore, it requires both parties to put in the effort to keep the marriage together.

it is just so natural to deny and even accuse the other party when things go wrong. i suppose, sometimes we just need to take a step back and reflect on what we could have done better.

would it be too much to ask for, if we could 'bite our tongue' and not jump the fire even when we have in our hands the so-called 'evidence'? why not work on the marriage and spend more quality time together, and get the kids involved to gel the bond better? children, in this case, can really do the most wonderful wonders!

keep the communication open. talk with each other. stop interrogating your spouse for something that will just become a vicous cycle of accussations. And, remember to resolve conflicts out of sight of the children. - golden rule.

"The most important thing about marital conflicts is not how to avoid them, but how to manage them."