had a conversation with a friend who thinks that her marriage is on the rocks... as things just don't seem to be the same anymore.
i've been thinking...how so often do we get so caught up in our 'rush-ian' schedule (everything rush rush...) that we very easily and often (may i add) neglect our spouse...?
do you still make an effort to cheer each other up? or remind each other to take things easy...? or even to ask how each other's day had been..? we ALL need the TLC. Tender Loving Care, that is. We strive to be good parents, fulfilling our multiple roles at work and at home, and it's just so easily that we take our marriage for granted! We always think that our spouse will be there, sleeping next to you, coming home right after work, to change the light bulb, fix the tap etc etc etc...
but, do we ask the question: are we also being a nice spouse? have we said 'I love you' today? did we even touch today? everyday passes so quickly, we forget the anniversaries, birthdays, special occassions.
do we also realise that the people our spouse sees more often everyday, is their colleagues and co-workers, or even their clients?
is it of any surprise that in this group of people that our spouse sees more often than he/she sees us, that there's someone that he/she feels closer to...
however, friends being friends. a married person does have the responsibility and commitment in a marriage to remain faithful and honour the spouse, no matter what.
therefore, it requires both parties to put in the effort to keep the marriage together.
it is just so natural to deny and even accuse the other party when things go wrong. i suppose, sometimes we just need to take a step back and reflect on what we could have done better.
would it be too much to ask for, if we could 'bite our tongue' and not jump the fire even when we have in our hands the so-called 'evidence'? why not work on the marriage and spend more quality time together, and get the kids involved to gel the bond better? children, in this case, can really do the most wonderful wonders!
keep the communication open. talk with each other. stop interrogating your spouse for something that will just become a vicous cycle of accussations. And, remember to resolve conflicts out of sight of the children. - golden rule.
"The most important thing about marital conflicts is not how to avoid them, but how to manage them."
Laughter and Humor - do you have them in the family?
One of the great joys of marriage is the time that you, as a couple, spend laughing together and enjoying your sense of humor.
Here are the benefits of laughter and humor, and ways to increase laughter in your marriage.
Laughter is a marvelous gift. It releases chemicals in your brain which can enhance your day and reduce your stress.
Additionally, laughter and humor are vital to good health. Laughter is healthy for a marriage, both emotionally and physically.
Benefits of Laughter
· Reduction of stress and tension.
· Stimulation of your immune system.
· An increase of natural painkillers in your blood.
· A decrease in systemic inflammation.
· Reduction of your blood pressure.
· Lifts your spirits.
· Laughter and humor relieve tension, lift spirits, and bring couples closer together.
· Having a sense of humor as a couple can help keep your relationship fresh.
Ways to Increase Laughter in Your Lives
· Be aware of the humorous moments in each day.
· Make it a habit for everyone in your family to share at dinner something funny that happened to them.
· Take delight in comedies on television and at the movies.
· Watch classic funny movies and television shows.
· Share funny jokes and cartoons with each other.
· Create funny Halloween costumes as a couple.
· Reflect on funny times in your past together.
Together, work on building your sense of humor. Couples who can laugh at themselves or at their situation usually feel stronger when problems arise. Laughter can sometimes release negative tension both physically and psychologically.
[adapted from http://marriage.about.com/od/humor/qt/laughter.htm?nl=1]
Make a Tree ! - brought to you by the NLB
Open to youths from 13-25 years old!
How does climate change affect the environment? Want to see the impact on trees close up? Imagine watching movies all the time and wondering how they are made.
Join us behind the scenes as we learn about the impact of climate change through tree replicas, a tree trail and learn about the works of filming on a visit to a one of Singapore's most established production houses!
ASPi stands for Aspirational Pathfinder and is an experiential programme. The objective of this programme is to take participants out of their usual areas of interest and bring them on diverse experiences. With these diverse experiences, participants will gain new insights and ideas to spur on learning.
This programme is held at Tampines Regional Library at 10am. Pick up point is available at National Library at Victoria Street (Bugis) on 8 November at 9.30am. We'll provide the necessary transport, tea and lunch.
Especially for youths, so join us if you are 13–25 years old. Registration is required.
To register, go to http://golibrary.nlb.gov.sg/ or you can also register via our eKiosks!
~ This programme is brought to you by the National Library Board.
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